January 8, 2013

Inspiration for the Final 12

Each month this year I want to give inspirational food for thought. Since this is my “final 12” I want to keep myself motivated, inspired, and in positive energy. So… who’s with me? Feel free to copy and paste!


“Nothing in this world is permanent, and we’re foolish when we ask anything to last, but surely we’re still more foolish not to take delight in it while we have it.”

-W. Somerset Maugham

“Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul. And sings the tuns without the words, and never stops at all.”

-Emily Dickinson

Embracing Pansexuality?

One of my favorite TV shows in the world is “Sex and the City.” And even though the show has been in reruns, I feel that no episode is less entertaining than the last time. I guess with that said, I’ll get to the point.

In this particular episode, Samantha revealed to Carrie that she was going to have a threesome with two gay guys, and that she couldn’t pass up a chance to sleep with two hot guys, whether they were gay and/or straight. And as she explains this “sexportunity,” (that term is my own, you like?) Carrie is giving her the “I-know-you’re-serious-but-you-can’t-be-serious” face. Samantha retorts back with, “What?” Then Carrie says, “They’re GAAAAY!” Then something very questionable, yet very mature, came out of Samantha. She says, “So what? Sex is sex. As the world evolves, people will embrace pansexuality, and we will sleep with people as individuals and not based on sexuality” (might not be the exact quotes, but it’s something of the likeness).

So, the question is, how true is this, and how true could it be? In a world where people struggle day to day to be accepted in a society that tries to maintain its “vanilla-ness,” this could only work if people could see a person for more than just their physical. But, with that said, we will still always be attracted to our own personal likes.

I can understand this theory on many different levels, having many experiences with men and women, but also knowing that my attraction is more than what I see, but how I feel.

Being a (trans) woman, I constantly have to deal with men, now more than ever since being in here. And with that I’m always faced with having to explain the “laws of attraction,” and why they have these feelings. As of recently I’ve become very close with this guy and we’ve become the best of friends. We discuss our dreams, goals, relationships or anything that we might want to share with the other. Then one day he says to me, “I don’t like men—“ I butt in “I don’t identify as male.” “But… I want you to know that if I love you, it’s for you…” At that moment I really didn’t know how to feel because for the first time, in a long time, a man can admit to falling in love with me or anyone for who they are. As he identify as “straight,” and so do most of the men I date… or, “other.” I know that they are attracted to my femininity, and I know I’m as femme as they come. But, as a bonus, if the person is willing to really get to know me, then they are intrigued and attracted to my intelligence, my independence, and even my meek submissiveness. It’s even funny sometimes to see men become hypermasculine creatures to assure themselves of their own “straightness” by proclaiming their love for vagina or by challenging another man to push-up competitions. I just think it’s about time for masculine men to embrace who and what they are attracted to, and learn to stop going for physical and focus on mental, emotional, and spiritual connections. This is also true for women, so don’t think you all got out of this easily.

Even for myself, I found myself saying I can’t like girls, that that ship has sailed and the attraction wasn’t there. That was until I became more experienced in the world, and learning about femininity and masculinity. The more I understood about myself the more I realized what it was I was actually attracted to. And this all became very clear to me when I kept encountering actions and reactions between me and a close friend who was a very masculine stud. She would always compliment me on my prettiness, or my body, or my fashionable style. The flirting became something of the norm, and it really made me contemplate my feelings for her, and how different it felt that it was a her. Then one night, after me and some friends left the gay club downtown, there she was. Was it even more a “coincidence” that we were both at the same club that night? We shared a couple of dances, but mostly were with those we came with. As I stood there, being P.G.T. (Pretty Girl Tipsy), she came over to tell me my dress was fitting right and how good of a dancer I was. All I could do was smile and blush. As the club poured out from closing, and people mingled, there we were making jokes about her fucking me and it didn’t seem weird at all. That led to her kissing me and to me it felt good. Me, the girl who was penis obsessed, is kissing a stud in the middle of the walkway while the gaybies around us cheer and whistle. So there I had to admit that it wasn’t the fact that I was kissing a girl, because that didn’t matter anymore. Her masculinity was what turned me on. After I realized that I understood myself more than ever. I was starting to see people as individuals, and being attracted to both men and women was all in the case of femininity and masculinity.

So there is the possibility that pansexualism can be the evolution of the world, but that can only proceed through acceptance of others and ourselves, and I know that that is something that I try to reiterate as much as often in these posts. With acceptance comes love, and with love comes happiness. And who doesn’t want to be happy? Just something to think about.

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Posted on January 15, 2013, in CeCe's Blog. Bookmark the permalink. Comments Off on January 8, 2013.

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