Live like we feel is best for us
I just want to say that my prayers and condolences goes out to the families, friends, and loved ones who were affected and hurt by the tragedy that happened in Newtown, CT. I’m sending all the love I can to all of those affected.
I also want to make a statement to all those who want to be so analytical and make irrational connections from things in the media to that tragic incident. How can you point out all the things that are now “wrong,” from songs on the radio to movies, and that possibly don’t have any connection to the incident, which in itself is very upsetting. But have you ever chastised yourself for eating food when there are babies in other countries that die from hunger EVERY DAY? Or do you point the finger at yourself for crawling into your bed at night knowing that there are children homeless and literally living on the street from displacement? So people shouldn’t be so quick to point fingers and say what other people should and shouldn’t do because there is no innocence for anyone if you’re not helping any cause that can help anyone.
This is my opinion and if it offends you, then you are one of the people I’m talking about. Just something to think about.
So this might sound weird, but I got inspired to write this from a Jerry Springer episode I just finished watching. It was really sad to watch, moreso for this young man who was clearly upset because he couldn’t be the person he wanted to be. He came on the show to tell his then-girlfriend that he was cheating on her with a guy, and that him and his boyfriend were dating for as long as he and she were. So the girl comes out and he tell her that he love her and she’s a really good person… but I’ve been cheating on you… with a guy. So as the girl and the guy discuss their “relationship” and their feelings for each other, Jerry chimes in and say, “I’m not saying that you can’t love who you want, but why would you date her if you were attracted to men?” And she says, “So I was just a cover-up.” Then shit got real on Jerry, and it even touched some people in the audience. With tears welling in his eyes, he looked at Jerry and said, “No one knows what it’s like being me, having to be bullied in school and being teased for being who I wanted to be. It really hurted…and I didn’t mean to hurt anybody. I just didn’t know what to do.”
At that moment the cameraman showed people in the audience wipe tears away as this man pour our his soul and release his burdens on that stage in front of everybody in that audience, and the millions of people watching on television, including me. Knowing his story is one that is too common and is relatable to many. All I wanted to do was give him a consoling hug and let him know that he isn’t alone and that his acceptance and proclamation was brave and that will make him stronger, no doubt in my mind.
But it’s situations like that that make me so upset with society in this day and age. Why is it that we (or I should say “they”) can’t come to terms with acceptance of difference? That this world is greater than any person, and that the complexity of everything around us, from the planets and stars in the galaxies to the smallest atom of our being, can’t be put into a box, like most people’s minds are, and their understanding of complex things, including love. And we all know love is just as complex as the stars and planets in the galaxies and the atoms which make up all that we are and everything else that is both known and unknown to humans. What’s even sadder is that some people can even believe in a possibility of extra terrestrial life (and not that I’m saying that it couldn’t be a possibility along with other possible ideas of our vast universe)—why is it so hard to believe that on Earth, there is difference among the people here? What I’m trying to say in simplest form is that people can accept things that are beyond us, whatever that may be, but we keep those in our society in turmoil by not being able to accept the “possibility” and actuality that people of same genders can intimately love each other or that some of us would rather live our lives as the gender we want instead of the one we were “assigned.”
Now that we are going into a new year, I think it’s time we all choose to live like we feel is best for us. If you are living for someone else, now should be the time to decide what’s best for you, whether it be a career change, a new location, or finally, loving the person (or people) you want to! Please don’t limit yourself to anything that would better you, and make you love yourself most importantly. Learn to be accepting and learn to love, not just others but YOURSELF! And if you think there is not one person who loves you, know that I do… Be comfortable being you, and don’t let ANYONE take that away from you. I think Rachel Jose said it best: “Be a Fruit Loop in a world full of Cheerios!” Originality always wins!
Love you lots! I’ll see you next year!
Happy Holidays and be safe,
p.s. Please learn more about Black Transwomen Nationwide Advocacy and Black Transmen Inc., and please try to attend the 2nd Annual Black Transmen Advocacy Conference if you can (March 13-17, 2013 in Dallas).