May 11, 2012: “Go beyond our natural selves”
This post was originally written to a gathering of CeCe McDonald’s family, friends, and supporters, which she organized from within the Hennepin County jail. She asked that the letter not be read until everyone was gathered to hear her words together. She wrote this letter the week after she accepted a plea agreement to a reduced charge of second degree manslaughter.
May 11, 2012
Hi everyone! Before I start, I just want to thank all of you and everyone who has invested their time, dedication, perseverance, and most importantly, the love and willingness to be open and allow the most personal parts of your inner-beings to be involved with this case and the metamorphosis of myself into a more spiritual, grounded, loving woman…I love you all and I thank you from the bottom of my bottomless heart with truth and sincerity. One thing I’ve learned, which was brought to my attention from a close friend, was that throughout this case, from the beginning to end, all of us have played a part in this “mirroring effect,” where we see each other as we saw ourselves, giving to each as we would, or have wanted to, for ourselves. And in each of us was that struggle, and that was also seen, so like we would have tried for ourselves we uplifted and encouraged each other to go beyond our natural selves and to have the faith to move mountains. And know that every day I look in the mirror, not only do I see myself, but I see all of our beautiful spirits together with one voice in a continuing struggle against hate and oppression, where we speak of love and TRUE FREEDOM. I want everyone to know they had a part in my evolution, whether it was a visit or a letter in the mail. Just know it made a difference in my life. And just as you did for me, I hope that I did the same for you.
Now, I know circumstances have taken a turn, and it probably wasn’t expected, or probably was. None of that actually matters. But what does was to know that even though there were those who thought they defeated us, we never threw in the towel. And to know I still had the support of all of you made my decision worthwhile. There were many reasons for my decision, but the most important things that mattered was being able to continue my works and the battle against hate in my freedom rather than in oppression, and also, just being able to be with all of you again. When I thought about all things, considering the situation, I realized that my true nature is to take responsibility for my part in the incident. That was the hardest part for me because I didn’t want to have that association of those ideas or even the feeling of knowing what I knew because I knew it wasn’t of my nature. But I realized trying to deny or escape it wouldn’t make it go away, as I have done with most things in my life. Once I was able to understand, acknowledge, and accept things as they were, I was able to grow from it and even attain the compassion and empathy for those who have wronged me in this situation, as well as those that have troubled me all my life. I know that this incident will always be a part of my life, but I made the decision to not let in continue to be a burden in my life, and no matter what path I may take after this I will not go into whatever may come with extra baggage or any regrets. And hopefully you all can also evolve and progress in life without holding on to the things that keep you from achieving self-enlightenment.
I’m pretty sure most people heard the saying “you can’t love anyone, if you don’t love yourself,” and that is true. But it goes beyond that. You can’t LIVE if you don’t love yourself. The fears and hate of a patriarchal society have told us that we don’t fit the mold. But no two people are alike, so what mold do they speak of? They implant in the mind and heart that if we aren’t them, then we’re wrong. And in most cases these psychological manipulations work, and those who “don’t fit the mold” try to fit it, or break themselves trying to. I was one of those people. On the verge of suicide trying to figure out why I wasn’t normal. Unfortunately, unlike myself, many young teens and even adults destroy themselves, whether it be mentally, spiritually, or even physically, trying to live up to something or someone they are not. But being true and loving yourself is true living and loving. Then in that a person can go beyond their natural selves and do things that were unimaginable to their own mind. Never doubt or underestimate your own abilities. We are all stronger, smarter, talented, beautiful, and resilient than we were told.
Now I know this for myself, as I want all people to know for themselves. The best things in life are truth, love, and knowledge. Even in the Bible it says, “There is gold. There are plenty of rubies. But lips that speak knowledge are a priceless jewel.” (Proverbs 20:15) What I try to give back is the knowledge I have attained throughout my lessons in life, and even though I’m only 23 years young, I’ve been told I’ve been around for hundreds of thousands of years (LOL). And I just want to share what I know with all of you, and also to leave for future generations who will need these words to be people of love and understanding. My love now is unconditional and everlasting. My pride is still intact, but my humbleness is overflowing. I know things about myself that I never imagined. I hate that it took an incident of this magnitude to show me, and all of us, who we really are and what we are capable of. My message to everyone is to go beyond your natural self, live and love freely, be true to your heart and never hide who you are! Love is eternal and will always prevail. I love you all sooooo much, and whatever awaits my future I know the love and support will keep me pushing for inner strength and knowledge. I want to thank everyone again for EVERYTHING! Now, go live and love freely!
Truth Power Princess A.K.A.